Spectacles of Mine.

There you are. The loveliest smile I’ve ever seen and, god, I am grateful for having seen something so spellbinding I can replay over and over again behind closed eyes. And yes, Two hundred and fifty three days. You were my birthday present sent by god. The best of them all. Your presence in my routine was the spark that I’d kill to get tangled in my boring day-to-day life again.

Your smile, that is.

Your rabbit-like teeth—I don’t even know the right word for it—add up every petty thing. The warmest, brightest, loveliest, most honest, most sincere and most encouraging smile in my entire life. That is. Pounding, pulsing me. That is, not mine. That is this world’s to share with me. And apparently, I’ve got to let it go and walk away. frankly, It’s not the scenario I am keen on.

No, it starts again. The very scene you smile plays on, and now every love song I’ve heard since I learn those were love songs, gathers in and makes a commotion. Inside. Pounding, pulsing me, that it tickles my neck. There, keeps on playing on that it holds me back in such way I can’t let you go. I can’t just walk away, for god’s sake. I can’t even if I wanted to.

Hate me for that.

People can say whatsoever thing they wanted, that this thing isn’t for real. That this thing is only temporary. That this thing is a huge idiocy. To me, Everything makes sense. To never walk away, is never the plan. Someday soon, I’m finishing this silly, tipsy chapter of my book and reading it with a slight memory of my secret recordings of you smiling. I am getting this happy kiddish fantasy off my brain, And if you cross my mind ever again, That’d probably be alright.

Since You were such a great companion and life is such a paradox.

Here my enormous love 😉
❤ M


Why college is sooooooo much fun.

bonsoir. It’s late.

These days I second guess my sanity. I’m not doing really well in colege. It’s just all these programming stuffs that, I don’t have any idea why, is so difficult to understand. Never as difficult as physics though. And math which me used to be pretty confident at, feels completely abstract, utterly absurd, absolutely new, like I never learn that kind of math. well, that is pretty much exaggerative, because the math stays the same, it’s just we learn some new concepts at class and that was plain confusing.
This, at the moment, there are things wrong with my codings that it cannot be compiled. I’m closing my IDE since I elusively don’t know what the heck is wrong with my syntaxes and they re-run Ncis: Goodbye Gibbs 1 to 3 so I think I’d better put them off for a couple of hours and eff, I am so procrastinating. I really shouldn’t.
but I am yeah. sucks.

Now I can type good english, but pretty lame in java. Those java, the one they speak here and the other they use for computers ;p blaaah,

Anyways, where is director Vance?
Lame me,