There you are. The loveliest smile I’ve ever seen and, god, I am grateful for having seen something so spellbinding I can replay over and over again behind closed eyes. And yes, Two hundred and fifty three days. You were my birthday present sent by god. The best of them all. Your presence in my routine was the spark that I’d kill to get tangled in my boring day-to-day life again.
Your smile, that is.
Your rabbit-like teeth—I don’t even know the right word for it—add up every petty thing. The warmest, brightest, loveliest, most honest, most sincere and most encouraging smile in my entire life. That is. Pounding, pulsing me. That is, not mine. That is this world’s to share with me. And apparently, I’ve got to let it go and walk away. frankly, It’s not the scenario I am keen on.
No, it starts again. The very scene you smile plays on, and now every love song I’ve heard since I learn those were love songs, gathers in and makes a commotion. Inside. Pounding, pulsing me, that it tickles my neck. There, keeps on playing on that it holds me back in such way I can’t let you go. I can’t just walk away, for god’s sake. I can’t even if I wanted to.
Hate me for that.
People can say whatsoever thing they wanted, that this thing isn’t for real. That this thing is only temporary. That this thing is a huge idiocy. To me, Everything makes sense. To never walk away, is never the plan. Someday soon, I’m finishing this silly, tipsy chapter of my book and reading it with a slight memory of my secret recordings of you smiling. I am getting this happy kiddish fantasy off my brain, And if you cross my mind ever again, That’d probably be alright.
Since You were such a great companion and life is such a paradox.
Here my enormous love 😉