Lame, Lame, Turbo Lame.

I am really stupid.
I am definitely a moron.
I can’t believe I am late for the third times in two weeks and that is just nothing but utterly idiotic.

I was awake the whole night and I fell asleep fer like an hour, woke up at half to six, which is really late, and rush to college. And what’s more moronic is that I shouldn’t have taken that darn kopaja. I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have. I’m so out of my mind. what makes it hurt even more, is that a friend of mine, didn’t take that effing bus and she didn’t come late. I am really, really, completely hating myself right now.

I hate the traffic. It was as good as hell and I stuck there for like 2 hours, can you imagine that? I mean, can you imagine yourself, standing in an overloaded bus with people standing too close to you, with the temperature, with such traffic you’d wish you were never born? And with the fact you’ve got class in thirty minutes?

Yeah, I was in that very life.

I am complaining? I don’t care. I just have to tell it. How I literally go mad this time. I don’t give a dang. one sentence to you guys who currently live in Ciputat, Pamulang, and surrounding areas who work, or study, or whatsoever that oblige you to go to Jakarta every morning, – PLEASE PUT YOUR SHINY CAR BACK HOME. TAKE THAT DAMN BUS. –
You guys are why the traffic is that evil. You put me in misery. Please do, use public transportation.

No offense. just reminding you that there are too many cars and motorcycle down there.
I honestly want to have it like you. drive my own car. Much more convenient.
Much less environmental-friendly. Much less college-student-who-take-bus-friendly.

Time’s up, Ciao.
Miraaaawr.

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Perhaps Undiscovered: My late night drama.

buzz lightyear didn’t know he is a toy and that there are lots of him.

Good midnight.
Now that I’m perfectly on my own I can tell you this.

Honestly, I am in a state I cannot tell where I am. I am lost, stranded, confused. I don’t have any idea where I’m heading. I cannot tell on which ground I stand, the right one or the other. I don’t know. It’d be nice to know but I don’t. The paragraph did confuse you, I guess. You might wonder what this whole thing is about, why there are plenty of don’t-knows and can’t-tells, and how I start losing self-confidence by stating them.

The first I-don’t-know is I don’t know whether I have made the right decision. decision I made for college. I felt it was a right thing to do but mum didn’t think so and I had assured her I would try my best in college though it wasn’t med school as she wanted, and I would get good grades so it wouldn’t be hard to get jobs. Now that mum is assured, my far aunt called on our home and started reassuring mum it wasn’t exactly the right thing to do. The aunt had a notion that women shouldn’t have worked or studied on men’s field areas such as, computer science, whatsoever related to machinery. women had better study accounting, nursery, etc.

I don’t know what’s so wrong with my major, but that got me thinking. well, I must say the aunt was so persistent with her opinions that it crossed my mind, may be I’m not on the right path. oh god I don’t know.but I know I really hate myself right now for not knowing such things and let people wobble me, but I’m honestly tired with these consuming thoughts about college. So let’s just tag them petty. fffftt it quite lightens.

Second I-don’t-know is physics. I don’t know if I can stand carrying on with such a load on my back. just a semester and this thing will stay away. I will try. The next I don’t know is I don’t know which UKM I will join. English Debating? Mapala? Robotic Team? I DON’T KNOW PERIOD.

So it’s all about college.
I miss high school. Those days everything was simple. Now I’m trying to simplify most things but it doesn’t work so I guess I’m going to have to live with all these delicate structures offers.

Anyways, it’s not that complex and problematical, it’s just me, the old drama queen posseses me this late hours.
oh yes, Happy Lebaran, Minal Aidin wal faidzin 🙂
Agent M