I stop keeping count of how many times I said this in mind, Time to write it down.

I don’t know, I just think I’m stupid.

I’m stupid and lazy and procrastinating the whole time and simply too idiot to get the fact. Yet, now I know it. I know I’m stupid and lazy and procrastinating the whole time and simply too idiot to get the fact, just now. Just months before everything’s late (or Has it been late?). Luck and Improvement, aren’t they? I’m improving, I promise.

I’ve been wanting to run, so I run.
but, everyone else runs faster. sucks.

I’m stupid and silly. I dream huge and high. I dream too high. I arrange my dreams higher than the sky (well that’s how it’s supposed to, isn’t it?) higher than the so-called heaven, farther than the farthest side of the universe, plain bigger than my body. it’s just that unreachable and I’m STUPID. Yet I think I can. Didn’t I just promise I’m improving?

So I run faster. but everyone else’s still faster
I want to run faster, faster than anyone else in the whole world. please?

I just want it so bad. those feet of the great runners, the olympic-gold-medal winners’. I want to think big and bright and cleverer, I just want it darn bad. Brain of Einstein.


بِسْمِ اللّهِ الرَّحْمـَنِ الرَّحِيم
In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Ever Merciful


On A Tightrope; A Review

picture source

Last Sunday I watched the movie at Jiffest(Jakarta International Film Fest) though actually I went there to watch A Road to Mecca, which had been sold out hours before the screening.

On A Tightrope is a documentary film about 4 specific children, Sarigul, Aijamal, girls, and Jumakhun, Abliz boys, who all are living in an orphanage in Xinjiang province of China and happen to be Uyghurs, the largest Muslim Minority there (Don’t you love oxymoronic phrase). They aren’t all orphans, Aijamal and Jumakhun still have their mothers, Sarigul and Abliz are. They four did tightrope walking as it is Uyghur’s Tradition, and their stories  revolve around it.

Sarigul was a tightrope walker but she started to ignore her school, therefore her teachers were very worried that she would leave school earlier than she is supposed to. Her Teachers were really concerned since Sarigul is actually that kind of bright-talented-girl.

Jumakhun was that small kid who got beaten and hit and mocked for he was small. but he’s so cute and his attitude like the whole world is against him just make him look cuter. He is a good tightrope walker indeed, He wants to be like Adili, world’s best tightrope Walker (who is an Uyghur), but his trainer, Mehmet Tursun never gave him a chance. He told Jumakhun to quit tightrope walking, once again, thanks to Jumakhun’s body size. as he said in one occasion, It’s no good being a small kid.

Abliz was afraid. He wasn’t into tightrope walk at all. He dreams of being a famous singer one day. His singing brought me to tears. He said if his parents were still alive He would put them on his shoulder and brought them all the way to Mecca. He’s my favourite.

Aijamal was Outstanding in tightrope walking. She outshone all her friends. She thought her trainer, Mehmet Tursun was a good man who’s going to make sure everything’s okay. She thought Mr. Tursun can replace her father’s place. She doesn’t think so after he abandoned her and sent her back to the orphanage.
Mehmet Tursun was the best in tightrope walking, but He was too big-headed that Adili, who was very young, soon exceeded him.

picture source
Abliz, Petr Lom, Jumakhun

The film also tells how the children are not allowed to have religion, something that is opposing the fundamental human rights. The China government seems like covering it as Petr Lom shows a video where a Chinese officer said that He wasn’t allowed to translate any of his video in Xinjiang to english.

In the Q&A session he said that there’s a distinct difference whether his movie break the ethical code of media by translating the whole conversation of the movie. Well, he also said that one of his friends was arrested for sending the tapes out of the country by FedEx. So, China seems very sensitive about this issue.

The movie is surprisingly good. I thought It was going to be only about being a tightrope walker and blah blah, but It actually has a strong message inside. No wonder it’s nominated in Grand Jury Prize World Cinema – Documentary in Sundance film Festival in 2007. I get curious on his newest documentary film “Letters to The President” that involves Ahmadinejad. I missed the screenings at Jiffest.

Happy Holiday, hope you’re all well.


Dear Friends,

Love, a word that if you haven’t fallen in one, you just never live life to the fullest, It hurts yet alleviates things you’d never guess you can bear, put a smile on your face, and bring those tears you’d have to wipe and say it’s time to move on. No, it’s beautiful, really, but It’s just too beautiful that it hurts so bad when it leaves, and the whole world will start to darken a bit, and All just aggravate every single thing.

That’s when you lose a very Marvelous thing that had brightened all your past days. but, know what? it never leaves, it stays there for the rest of the time, You just have to look inside a little and there you have it, ready to be given again. so, maybe the sky never looks that blue again, yet, it’s going to be painted in a really different colour, your favourite colour–or if your favourite colour is blue, then it’s the most perfect blue you love–because when it’s time to love again, then it’s time.

taken from there

He may have gone with a way more gorgeous girl, and you’re home with a broken heart and crying him a river, well that’s okay, as long as you just cry him a river, not two.
Well, I’ve ever heard, God Is A Director, He might have a bigger plan for you, a better man must be just waiting by the block 😀

Most Important of All, I, your friend, will always be near to make some noise, so heck yeah.

Let’s Move on, We have National Exams, Universities’ Entrance Test, and Final Exams and blahblahs ahead!
(one of my bestfriend just broke up with her bf, I hope this would cheer her up a bit)

Loads of Warm Love :DDD


I am pretty thankful these days, just so you know, this week until next monday I’m having final exams.
and you know what (I’m not going to show off!) my math and biology marks are FANTASTIC and chemistry do fine and English, Deutsch, and Citizenship marks are good as always (HAHA), oh and I failed on Indonesian (I speak Indonesian for heaven’s sake, ckck), C&IT, and Perspective Drawing, Which are okay.