An Attempt to Mapping My Life and What It Probably Is

I was born in 1993. When I was only 4 years old, Indonesia and the region faced what was probably their financially lowest point in decades. Prices rose up to the extent people couldn’t afford. People got upset, mad, and decided to overthrow the then president (which later resigning before getting more trouble). Riot, tension, and uncertainty were the circumstances in which I grew up. My mum told me, I was very fortunate that my family could still afford to enroll me to primary school and pay all the primary school’s tuition for me and my sister.

My batch in primary school was actually the batch with the smallest number of students. The other batches were separated into two classes while there were probably too few students in our batch to only form a class. Not many family could or would spare some money to get their kids to school in those days. So, considering the number of students in my class, it’s like studying in a decent private school.

I am now a full-time university student. Out of all aged 19-24 population in the country, only 18.4% can afford this privilege of pursuing education to a higher degree. 4.8 millions learns in class while twenty-ish millions of the youth learns in real life/work. And what about the high school? The primary school? The education that I am getting right now is probably too grandiose of a daydream for the majority.

I am not going into statistics anymore. I happen to meet a few of people who yell it right in front of my face but I’m probably have been blinded and deafened by my own indifference.

Yes they yell, the yelling I do hear but forget easily.

I’ve got my education. A very-expensive education for some. I’ve got ample opportunity combined with knowledge and experience to be able to make the most out of it.

I see plenty of kids on my way to campus.
Some are wearing school uniforms. Some are wearing over-sized-used-tees instead.
Some are carrying school bags. Some are carrying a ukulele or a bottle full of rice shaker or a sack full of plastic garbage.
Some are working their arses off for a plate of not-so-decent foods. Some are slacking and get junk foods.

Life is _______. (Fill in the blank in your mind or whisper it or just say it out loud if you’re that sure of the answer, please). Was it,
Wonderful? Unfair? A boxing match in which we have to fight, round after round?
A chess match in which we have to think through all the possibilities and its aftermaths? I don’t have any idea of what life is (you’ve got to ask Nietzsche for that one).

Yet, I know a thing about how to live one. I live gratefully. And
just watched a profoundly-moving Louie Schwartzberg’s TEDx Talk in San Francisco that underlies pretty much the same idea.

Here’s to you.

I believe in education and gratitude. I can’t imagine my life without these two. I’d really like to think that those are my raison d’être. It’s a great cause anyway. Look at my mum and uncles. Education gets them out of a tranquil, no electricity jungle of Sumatera to concrete jungle in the states. Gratitude gets the humble-nature to stay.

Oh you could say it’s a fail attempt and didn’t give you clear, coherent elucidation on what the title substantially declare. Well ask Nietzsche now, go!

I’M NOT GOOD AT THIS LET’S GO BACK TO PROGRAMMING (NOT GOOD AT IT EITHER *sigh*).
Well whateverrr
M

Tanggal Merah di Kalender

Look at my Scele’s calendar this october;

MARKED-RED DATES are everywhere.

Those are the source of my daily headaches.

MARKED-REDs are DEADLINEs or QUIZZES or MID-EXAMS.

OCTOBER, has basically been pretty mean.

But, I’M STILL ALIVE

AND KICKIN’. And we’re gonna follow the code of the road.

 

\M/

 

 

 

If I Had the World's Attention for Two Minutes

Florida street kids

I would ask everyone to take every children off the street, give them some nice and warm clothes, savory but healthy foods, quality books, paints, a canvas, and a guitar.

An Array of Stories

I am a commuter. I spend my early mornings and my late nights on the move between 3 provinces. One hour journey when it’s late at night and 2-3 hours (crazy yes) in the morning. People ask me, all the time, about why I do this, whether or not it was tiring me, why I don’t just settle and reside near the campus, rent a room or something. Frankly, I reply, it is tiring, I’m worn out whenever I got home, but the journey, is the one that makes it all okay, if not better.

I see millions of people with millions of care. I see another college students carrying heavy textbooks and having trouble to get on the bus. I walk passed some high school students with supposed-to-be cool look, hanging up, smoking, ignoring the rising sun. I attend the closing and opening of the market, the freshest fruits and vegetables being stored and sold at night and what’s left of them being trampled, tossed, and turned by the steps of the hurrying commuters in the morning.

I met a middle-aged woman with heavy bags on the bus and nobody was bothered to give her a seat. On a day like that the bus usually stuck in the traffic for hours. She smiled at me and we ended up chatting. It was a normal conversation at first but there was this troublesome and anxious look on her face.

What was it?

It turned out that her son, who study library science in the university, was hit by a car. He was unconscious till that morning, and after that all she could say was how unfortunate his kid was, fate and all. (Anyway, I met her again, recently, on my way home, with his son, bandaged on the back of his head, apparently have recovered.)

I sat beside my childhood friend’s father who looked very tired on the bus. A gleam appeared when I asked about how his daughter was doing in college. His happiness is evident, that that friend of mine, according to him, was doing real good.

I met another woman and her little children moving around. She kind of told me of how she and her kids plan to live in pulogadung but she can’t afford the bus fare to get there.

Then, I met a sidewalk siomay peddler, who wanted me to call him as dede.  He traveled here to make a living for his family back in the village. He was really chatty, he told me so many things about him and asked a lot as well. His siomay is uh, not that good and he kept on arguing on how computer science won’t make the world a better place.

Such an irritating man but at least, he kept me occupied whilst waiting for the bus.

Anyways, I saw my kindergarten friend, my crush in the elementary school, my junior high school friends, my English course classmate, and the most good looking guy I’ve ever seen in my whole life but I act as if I didn’t. I was too afraid that I would get awkward and all and start to embarrass everyone. Well that’s just me.

I was in a bus with an exhibitionist, a man who kept on repeating where he was going, and lot more people with unfathomable behaviorals. I met a friend of friend on the bus and we ended up gossiping about our surprisingly-so-many mutual friends. And he’s quite a good company in that tedious journey, considering how much he knew about others’ businesses, in an entertaining way.

I saw three 7-8-years-old-children that opened my eyes. They carried sacks full of garbage. Their clothes are ripped. They passed me chuckling, Picking up some bottles on the sidewalk. It was really late at night, don’t they have to go to school tomorrow? Don’t they have homework to do? Don’t they go to school at all? It hit me like an asteroid crash.

I don’t have to work to get a twelve year of quality education at a formal institution. I don’t have to break a sweat to be able to pay for my tuition to study in one of the best universities in the country.

That moment, all I really wanted was to grab their hands and ask them to come home with me then, enroll them to a school. But I didn’t. All I did was covering my wet face with my veil. I recalled how everyone in the family have faith in me. I recalled the journey I had that day, late to come to the class and when in it, never really paid any attention. I’ve had a much better option but somehow wasted all these chances generously given. I was fully woken up.

I may have a better life but may not be a better person than they are.

At the end of the day, there are billions of people in the world, I may not know them all. Commuting is tiring yet fascinating and a great learning space. There’s another different stories to be heard and witnessed each day.  Surely, the world is sharing something with me here. I’m always happy to learn, be thankful and encouraged.

CHEERS

M

Cita-Cita Lewat Tengah Malam di Pamulang

This is past midnight. My best friend, Deryck White, made a note of her dreams around 2 and a half year ago. I browse on her note lists to read it again. It was immensely inspiring (She probably can already tick some of it, She did it). Now, I’m  making my own here.

100 dreams of mine. Unordered, just what comes to mind first.

1. Actually have some famous persons sing my songs, Ryan Ross, Sting, Alex Turner, Zooey Deschanel, Chris Martin, the list goes on..

2. Graduate as an S.Kom with all teman-teman turbo. Oke bo?

3. Get me and my arse and my backpack to Labuan bajo and Komodo Island.

4. Participate in K2N 2012, teach all the kids math and english.

5. Get to contribute in Waigeo Island, Raja Ampat, in K2N.

6. Be sent on a full scholarship student exchange abroad.

7. Be awarded an undergraduate scholarship.

8. Tell every single secret I’ve been keeping and putting up with my whole life to a selected someone, Every secret story I can remember, I’ll try my best to.

9. Or, write them all in a single document, print it into a book, and make it the world’s bestseller.

10. Go to a John Mayer’s live concert hopefully with DW.

11. Sing along with John C, sing every single word he sings.

13. Swim with a whale shark and sea turtles and manta rays (because I watched people did it in natgeoadvtv, and it seemed very therapeutic).

14. draw/make manga. Abstract manga.

15. Become smarter than a fifth grader and take home 1 million dollars.

16. Donate them all in a cancer awareness foundation and an education-related NGO.

17. When someone asks me, Parles-vouz francais? I’m able  to say, Oui, monsieur/madame.

18.  Love coding somehow.

19. Be an equestrian so that, when we run out of those fossil fuels and the scientists haven’t found any other fuel to run the cars, I don’t have to walk.

20. Be blessed by and forever close  to and always remember Allah SWT.

21. Get me and my arse and my backpack to Europe with my friends, DW, Arya, and, indeutsch, and I guess it’s okay if you want to join us there.

22. Naik haji dan menaikhajikan orang lain, because my mum already naik haji (what exactly the english word for naik haji).

23. Watch Timnas Indonesia play in world cup live from the stadium.

24. Be compassionate to my brothers.

25. Be quoted by them.

26. Work at google.

27. Produce ultimately useful contemplation for the whole universe.

28. Open my own bakery shop, but first thing, I must learn how to bake nice and pretty sweet cakes.

29. Meet Steven Gerrard and tell him he has made watching football on weekends get in my raisons d’etre list.

30. Tell him that he has also made me to believe to stick with anything until the end.

31.  Be able to hack into an intelligence agency like Takagi Fujimaru and probably save the day from a nuclear explosion threat.

32. Make someone’s day.

33. Knit a sweater.

34. Publish all my petty remarks.

35. Have a better and controlled attitude towards everyone and everything.

36. Never envy.

37. Become tidier, organised, and more creative.

38. Write an academy-awards-winner-film-script and touch everyone’s heart with it.

39. Mention all my followers one by one on twitter once they reach 10000 in number cause sometime I feel lonely when there’s no new mentions.

40. Go to Palestine and teach the kids how to code/hack into Israels military site.

41. Make the Israel free Palestine and the land they have robbed, establish peace in the middle east.

42. Buy a sophisticated telescope and teach myself about stars, galaxies, planets, constellations, comets, satellites, asteroids and so forth.

43. Build a house in maldives, which have a clear astonishing ocean view.

44. Learn how to play drums and guitars.

45. Write a song that make anyone happy or at least smile when they hear it anywhere..

46. Re-learn Tae kwon do and master it.

47. Have my birthday remembered by a super awesome google doodle.

48. Practice archery, I’m inspired by my college friend Jonathan.

49. Become a guest star in Running Man (oh I just want to run!) And meet the commander and tell him how much he terrifies me.

50. Also tell Gary and the ace to marry and have an ace spy kid.

51.  Ask for an advice or two from BJ Habibie and actually be given one or two valuable pieces of advice.

52. Teach my nieces and nephews to speak English and they become more fluent than I am.

53. Traveling without any destination, just go wherever my feet take me to, like what DW has done before.

54. Build a mind-blowing online store for my business women friends, indeutsch, fitri, and some other.

55. Teach a foreigner how to sing Indonesia raya until he gets it.

56. Get slimmer particularly in the hip and belly area.

57. Visit Andalusia.

58. Edit wikipedia page.

59. Contribute to my community, my surroundings, improve the community by getting involved in social acts.

60. Meet JK Rowling and plead to her to write one more Harry Potter book.

61. She agrees and writes one last Harry Potter book and quite enjoys it so she writes more and more Harry Potter books.

62. Get a graduate school scholarship in the Deutschland.

63. Get to try to live in the big apple, if it suits me, I’ll stay and bring my whole family to live with me.

64.  Stop/prevent famine anywhere in the world.

65. Never ever be late again.

66. Actualised  my favorite line in a song “Someday I’ll fly, Someday I’ll soar. Someday I’ll be so damn much more. Cause I’m bigger than my body gives me credit for”.

67. Visit Bangka belitong.

68. Write a thesis, my own thesis.

69. Write an autobiography but it’s not published for the world, only as a reminder if I forgot some part of story my life.

70. Be much less careless.

71. Be A lecturer in the university.

72. Know I was wrong but have learned from each fallacy.

73. Get soaked but happily run in the rain like I used to when I’m younger. Much younger.

74. Fall in love with a great simple guy who falls in love with me.

75. Give birth three times but each time I get two and raise them all great (I haven’t known how to but it’s okay, I’ve got plenty of time).

It’s not 100 yet because it’s almost dawn  and I’ve got morning class tomorrow, er I mean today, this morning. I’ll update. Go Dream! \M/

Lebaran

Last Ied The whole family went on a trip across Sumatera. Here’s some tiny fractions from the road trip album photos, I’m working on the story. It was indescribably fun. Period.

When Hormones Attack

I got home today and somehow the journey made me feel irritated. The traffic, the public bus, the public bus’ floor, all felt abstractly wrong. It was jammed, the other one’s aircon was too cold, and the last was slippery. It took me 3 straight hours of walking and getting on public buses and walking and walking again.

So hereby I list the things that will lift me up after such journey,

The sound of machine guns, shot guns, explosions after explosions. One of the few things, which sort of convince my mental realm that I’m home. My brothers are playing games. I’m at home.

The lights and sounds of nasi goreng tektek at night. And seriously it’s now on.

The Reciting of the Qur’an. The most pacifying activity I’ve ever known. Exceptionally assuaging. Do try this at home.

The Wombats’ songs. Let’s dance to joy division. THE MOST THERAPEUTIC SONGS FOR THOU, LOST SOULS.

My own singing my own songs. Yeah, I am a pretty well-known singer-songwriter. In my own room. I don’t sing aloud in public places. Too bad for you.

Now, it’s past midnight. The bed needs me and I need it. We’re complementary.

Cheers. M

In The Name of Kepo-ness

Hello, whoever you are reading this.

I just bumped into this very guy today, Arif Abdillah, who was kind of the reason why I’m writing this post. He told me, and several hundreds of people, about his super kepo and ember project. His project. OH SO MIND-BLOWING. He initiated langkahkaki which is about people’s secrets! Well, you should ask him about how exactly he persuaded people, even stranger he met randomly, to tell him their well-kept secrets, but what I really noted, is really the urgency of sharing your secrets to someone else.

From self-loathe to acceptance, and from thinking you got the biggest problem ever invented to understanding the relativity of your problem. When you get someone to listen to your secrets, non-judgingly, you just.. no longer carry all those gravity of your problematic hidden dilemmas around. relieved. free. whatsoever you want to say it.

So my secret number one is..

I do envy people who know what they want to do.

This girl over here? She is impulsive and all, though she sometimes over thinks stuffs, holding herself back. She completely has no idea about what she expects of the future. blank, and she knows that that is not great. Not great at all.

Not afraid but just, unprepared.

Secret number two.

I think and strongly believe my brothers hate me. It is to be noted that I’ve got 3 brothers which for crying out loud means THREE PERSONS DETEST ME. I love them. big time. I don’t know why I even think about this but I do feel in a way, they all dislike me to a certain extent where you can call it hatred. No clue, maybe it’s just fear but what the heck. I don’t know (for the nth time of the day).

Secret number three.

I am an all time star of the heavy-sleepers.

I could sleep up to 14 straight hours a day in the living room with everyone around me doing their things. Nah, don’t ask how. I just did.

There are still some I don’t feel like sharing. Perhaps for self-loathing and denial.

Share me some of your secrets and you’ll get me listened to it if you want

Salam kepo, M.

 

Books Versus Their Movie Versions

Book collection

The book is always better than the movie. No exception.

I have read so many books so great that people made movies based on it. The Harry Potter books, The chronicles of Narnia books, The Lord of The Rings books, Eragon, No country for old Men, The Road, My Sister’s Keeper, The Ghost Writer, Into The Wild, Laskar Pelangi, The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo,  etc, All are, in my point of view, better than the movie versions (though they are pretty awesome themselves).

The books are way greater because there are always those few remarkable things in the books which are so delicate that filmmakers can’t film it well or even left unfilmed. Also when reading I can always picture the scene in my own way, which make reading a lot more exciting experience than watching films.

Movie versions are great with all those sounds and pictures stuffs, but, note this, it’ll never ever be greater than the books.

Inspiration Night, Which Was Truly Inspiring!

Hello, this time I’m going to tell you something definitively, utterly cool.
Last night, I attended British Council Indonesia’s Inspiration Night which was held alongside the exhibition of 50 social enterprises competing in the Arthur Guinness Fund’s CEC Wave II.

The Inspiration Night was opened by a video of a TED talk from R.A. Mashelkar. The talk was a heart-warming one about a new concept of engineering, Gandhian Engineering. Engineering nowadays are all about plain innovation. There is nothing more to it. The Gandhian Engineering is a concept of engineering that comes with compassion and passion. The way of getting more, from less, for more.

What captivated me most was that. Getting more from less, for more. Mashelkar talked about how medicines are invented. Through years, meds are developed with extremely big budget with fewer outcomes. And what results are high-priced medicines, affordable for only some wealthy ones. This is getting less from more, for even less people.

The great example of the gandhian engineering concept is the Nano car. Moved by seeing how Indian families used to ride on motorcycles, which, as you might say, is extremely dangerous even in an Indonesian’s perspective (imagine seven people, including infants,riding one tiny motorbike), Ratan Tata and a group of young scientists invented the Nano. Nano’s price was 100000 rupee~~ USD2000, an ultimately affordable car.

There are also the Jaipur feet. A European artificial feet for the disabled was priced USD 20000 when The Jaipur feet was priced for only USD 28. You might think it’s got much lower quality than the European’s. You’re wrong, it’s got more. The Jaipur feet were invented in demands of a normal Indian, so basically it was much different to the European’s which is unfortunately only able to walk on such perfect pavements and roads. Now, the Jaipur feet enabled the disabled to walk on uneven or marshy grounds, cycling, climbing trees so on and so forth. That is, pleasantly, extreme affordability and feasibility, fantastic, eh?

In the end it’s not all about the money. The compassion point is very important. It is how you look at people with issues and go do something about it, even do business which profits you and profits your customer as well.

After such gripping video, Cliff Southcombe, the founder of Social Enterprise Europe took over the stage. Now, A business is a person, partnership, or corporation that seeks to provide goods and services to others at a profit, as I quote from my business textbook. But, Southcombe introduced to the audiences a concept of businesses (the one Mashelkar is doing ) that not only revolving around profit, but also social objectives which based on values. An idealists’ crap some commercialists’ might think, but to me it’s wonderful and such a bold move in these era.

He then introduced us to Coin Street, a building owned by the local community. There was also SUMA, a wholesaler that claimed to have no bosses and was managed by the local owners democratically. And who doesn’t know about FC Barcelona? That glorious football club is owned by 150k of the locals. “Unlike the premier league’s clubs whose owners are millionaires and where financing is a mystery, it is all transparent in Barcelona and they even get to sponsor UNICEF,” Southcombe explained.

The following speaker was Goris Mustaqim, the Business Week’s Best Young Entrepreneur, as well as the founder of ASGAR(stands for Asli Garut) Muda. His Idea was “Membangun Bangsa Dari Desa”. He showed several examples of this; 1. The states, whose development is mostly moved by the private sector, build its country on an each states’ excellency basis. 2. The China, the opposite, developed by government, built their nation in the same spirit of localness. They didn’t only build the cities, but also infrastructures in villages that support economy growth and stuffs.

He then emphasized on how the youngsters can do that. “Bung Karno pernah berkata, Beri Aku sepuluh pemuda, maka Aku akan mengguncang dunia. Kalau Saya, beri Aku sepuluh pemuda maka Aku akan bangun sepuluh daerah.” He modestly declared.

After the young enterpreneur, The 2005 WWF’s Climate Hero, Tri Mumpuni, supported Goris’ idea of “Membangun Bangsa Dari Desa” with her Pro-Poor Development Road Map. She told us things every Indonesian must have heard before. Truths like how wealthy this nation is, how abundant of natural resources this country has got, etc. But she pointed out how commercial investment disconnected the people to their own natural resources, how the profits of all these resources go to corporations and multinationals rather than the people who actually own it.

There goes the social business, the business that brings advantages to society. The involvement of society in social businesses were vital since the profits not only go the owners’/investors’ pockets but also to the locals’ involved and there started a difference.

That night, I was thrilled to be introduced to this not-that-new paradigm of doing business. I am truly inspired by all these men and women who tried to do so. I can’t express of how many respect they earned from me who saw their works last night, but all I can say is, You guys rock, Keep rocking in the business of doing good! *does sound like a  pesan sponsor of AGF but no, it’s not one*

Catatan tidak penting: I wonder what Rupert Murdoch and other succesful profit-pursuing-businessmen would say about this kind of business, That’d be hugely interesting.
Kay, not important as well.

*hugs*
Yours, M

A Petty Remark: Suck It And See

Dear, Arctic Monkeys, I’m truly sorry.

Uuuuh totally am, but you guys did tumble down from my second-coolest-band to number third. The Suck it and see album of yours is, so to speak, a tad bit less fascinating than that one-released-almost-on-the –same-time single of Coldplay (I feel bad writing this).

Suck It And See was released, like, a couple of months ago but for the hecticness I was for the past few weeks, Here it is, late petty remark!

Now bring it on, first single.

It’s The BBB(funny acronyms, no?). Well, I personally find the single Brick by Brick, which was released months before the album, quite different to the rest of the songs in the album (different feelings!). Exempli Gratia, Reckless Serenade and The Hellcat Spangled Shalala. I’m not into classifying songs into genres but, these two are completely in different genre with that first single of the album. Brick by Brick is a hundred-percently those of the Rock n’ Roll, while the two latter are plausibly love(lust?) songs.

Suck It And See and That’s Where You’re Wrong are utterly decent, very sing-alongable, me favourite tracks. Some of the songs I actually play over and over again lately. Fancy the lyrics of both, some lines like, “There are no handles for you to hold”, “and no understanding of where it goes”(which sounds like A wisdom) “I pour my aching heart into a pop songs” (That’ll mean you rarely have aching hearts, Alexxxx XD), and “You’re rarer than a can of dandelion and burdock and those other girls are just postmix lemonade” (I’d literally go mad if the very Alex turner serenaded me with this line). Inimitable lines, aren’t they? And for the sake of curiousity (kepo-ness) of how rare a burdock is, I actually googled burdock, it’s a biennial thistles in the genus Arctium, family Asteraceae, according to wikipedia. That.

Whoosh, Don’t Sit Down ‘Cause I’ve Moved Your Chair is… awesome, though Alex Turner said that he quite regretted writing the songs for the many moving-your-chair jokes he got. Library Pictures, can I simply say that my mind’s stuck with it all day long when I first heard it?

And there are Piledriver Waltz and Love is A Laserquest, which inexplicably sounds alike to me. Along with the Singing—and the half whispering— of Turner, The Guitars’ sounds are somewhat similar. I’m no guitarist and I don’t have any idea whether anyone thinks so though. Both are good.

Final Statement: It is, to me, not a Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not or Favourite Worst Nightmare version of AM. It hasn’t got any Humbug-feeling to it as well. So what is it like?  In this very writing, I suppose, this album marked a rather different but still very impressive  sound of AM.

PS. kay, I know I’m not supposed to compare things  since, I, myself don’t like to be compared to anyone. Yet, I absolutely adore the new singles of coldplay, you should go and check it out

M

Short is Hot

Bonjour, people

Last Tuesday, I and Arya attend Provoke! Flick: Short is Hot at Sinou cafe.

It was a film screening stuffs, and why I came in the first place was for they screen the film Payung Merah which I knew from Arya was Hot. Okay he didn’t actually mention hot, he said award-winning. There were also two other short films featured, titled Borrowed Time and Broken Vase. The three film screened was somewhat known as  the Atiqah Hasiholan trilogy, since she’s the main actress in all three.

Anyway, remember I mention award winning?

Payung Merah, Directed by Edward Gunawan and Andri cung  was awarded The Best Short Film in the Asian Short Film Awards which was held in Singapore last month.
Which is Awesome.

I and Arya missed the Borrowed Time screening, though, Thanks to the jammed traffic in Lenteng Agung. And The second film, Payung Merah was on.

The film started with dangdut music(easy, it’s not going to be a spoiler) and Rio Dewanto, acting as a taxi driver, and Atiqah Hasiholan acting as a woman going home(in bintaro) from work. Since it’s a short film, the film is pretty short(wth), but what is so mind-blowing about the film is its ability to capture so much stories in it. It tells you about how the taxi driver’s relationship with his wife, how the woman feels about her father(and the other way around), and about her family, so on and so forth. I enjoyed it much.

The third movie is hugely entertaining. Titled Broken Vase, it films the quite engaging conversation between two strangers Marissa Trigg and Atiqah Hasiholan. The first woman(Marissa Trigg) was having a garage sale because she’s moving with her fiancee, Paul, to Hawaii. Atiqah acted as the other woman who has an unknown agenda(though she was looking like a normal customer on a garage sale). The film is pretty simple but has a twistful ending, so if they(the AddWord Production) held another screening, just attend it.

Cheers,
M.